For The Love Of Ray J is so Flavor of Love 1, it’s ridiculous.
Remember when the contestants had fun without stripping and being drunk? And the likable star actually hung-out with the ladies?
Most of the ladies are dancing on the verandah, and Cashmere suddenly recognizes Cocktail from another reality-show, ‘The Bad Girls Club’.
She seeks Unique’s counsel on whether she should tell Ray J or not, and they agree she should.
But not now, as Lil B and Ray J announce a new challenge. They have 30 minutes to impress Ray J with a talent and win a date. (30 minutes is way too long for that type of talent)
Not that I’m saying I can’t last 30 minutes.
Love And Basketball
Cocktail decides on strip-basketball and she and Ray J have fun with it; but Ray notes he didn’t learn much about her. (What’s to learn? Cocktail has one of the best personalities I’ve ever seen on a VH1 show)
Feisty is his personal trainer for her half-hour, and it’s obvious they have chemistry. But it’s more playful than sexual.
Cashmere says her passion is modeling and offers him a camera to take pictures of her. (Ray J is the last person you want to have footage of you. Go ask Kim)
It goes well until he jokes that photographers sleep with their clients. “Not with me!”, she declares.
As the photo-shoot ends she thinks it’s the perfect time to mention Cocktail’s past, but declines.
Danger is next and says she’s “tired of sharing him all the time”. Her speed-date involves painting blindfolded.
It comes across erotic,and her painting is brilliant. (It looks like a Masai warrior and his family, walking through Serengeti. If you don’t see that, take my word for it; I’m cleverer than you!)
Then comes Chardonnay…
‘I like to cook’, she says. So what will it be? Foie Gras? Beef Wellington? Chicken Cacciatore?
No… it’s spaghetti! (Spaghetti!? That’s your signature dish? Pasta, salt, water and ketchup? Fuck outta here…)
Saving the worst for last, it’s Unique, and her date is ‘singing and songwriting’ (Wtf is this? Kindergarten?)
With the challenge complete, Stacks calls and confirms Cocktail was not only on ‘Bad Girls Club’, but her role was to portray herself as a gold-digger. (And I’m supposed to believe this happened in this sequence? And isn’t your Dad going through chemotherapy? Priorities…SMH)
(It’s also interesting that she described it as her ‘role’ on the show)
I Ain’t Saying She’s A Gold-Digger
Lil B gathers the ladies to hear Ray J’s announcement of the winner, but he says everyone was good and he’s confused.
Instead of ‘eeny-meeny-miny-moe’ Ray says all the ladies will have dinner with him and he’ll decide later.
At dinner, Ray J and Chardonnay add to the belief that black people don’t have dinner anywhere but KFC.
1) The fucker orders ‘Pineapple Kamikaze’
2) Ray J can’t pronounce ‘Monsieur’
3) Chardonnay asks ‘What’s a scallop?’
Then again, what do you expect from a dude with a song with lyrics like ‘I did it in her butt-butt at da back of Pizza Hut-Hut’?
To amuse themselves they play a game of ‘I’ve Never…’ (Lemme start… I’ve never heard of this game.)
It mopes along until Feisty says ‘I’ve never been on a reality-show’. They all concur, including Cocktail.
But the way of the Kamikaze is not about subtlety so Cashmere takes a more direct approach and makes it known that Cocktail was Jo-Jo on BGC.
Ray J seems more excited that Cashmere stepped-up than knowing Cocktail lied, is a gold-digger, and may be on the show for publicity. (Now that we know these shows are fake, Ray J’s reaction makes a lot of sense)
Unsurprisingly, as the ladies gang-up on Cocktail, Danger plays no part. (I love this chica. She’s so above-it-all, she soars.)
And The Winner Is…
Back home Cocktail clarifies her situation with Ray J. He listens unconvinced, then leaves for bed. She asks him to return, but he never does.
The next morning Ray J announces the winners of the challenge, Unique and Feisty. As is his style, he plans a lunch date for the non-winners with Lil B.
On the date Unique’s inner-bitchassness is truly revealed. She paints Feisty as nothing more than a Miami jump-off, as opposed to her classy self.
When Ray J takes a swim in the pool, she refuses to join… that is, until Feisty joins him.
Only then she disrobes and easily takes Ray J’s attention away from Feisty. (I gotta admit, she looks mad thick. And juicy.)
Meanwhile, at the lunch date, Lil B feels the tension and enquires.
Cocktail rattles off what transpired at dinner but is far from apologetic. (I felt like I was hearing Spanish; except it was in English, lol. I’ve never heard someone speak that quickly)
Danger, Cocktail and Chardonnay seize the opportunity to focus the attention on Cashmere and the way she allows herself to be manipulated by Unique.
It must be apparent to all, because even Lil B joins in and warns her to not let Unique cover her shine. (I love Lil B)
Back at the pool Unique continues to be condescending. As she and Ray J kiss in the pool she advises Feisty to “just stay right there and look pretty”.
At the house, Cashmere speaks to Ray J privately. She confesses to feeling pressure and says Ray J is the only guy to call her ‘shy’ (Is that supposed to be a good thing?)
Competing with other women is a bit much for her, but Ray J directs her to her picture on his bed-side and assures her she is ‘doing good’.
At the ceremony, Ray J says he’ll do it differently this time. He calls Unique to him and asks everyone to leave. Unique is unsure what’s going on, but it’s only the first of private and separate ceremonies.
She receives her champagne and is told to ask Danger to join him.
In order, Danger, Chardonnay, Feisty and Cocktail receive champagne as well.
It appears Cashmere is going home, but Ray J says “the glass there is for you.”
It’s up to her to take it and stay, or reject it and leave. (I suppose she could have taken it and left, lol)
She seems to consider her options for ages before saying “I wanna go home”
It was a touching moment, but Ray J says “I wasn’t sad to see her go.I was sad to see her quit. She gave up on me, so I gave up on her”