After Eliminations last week, three Drag Queens remain, and in the workroom, Juju, Tyra, and Raven discuss the times they felt they were going to be eliminated.
Later, Santino and Meryl enter the room to let the Queens know that for their final challenge, they will be co-starring with Ru in his latest music video Jealous of my Boogie, which will be inspired by bitchy cat-fights.
Each Queen will have a dance section, an over-the-top cat fight with Ru, and must help design two looks inspired by “80s power bitch fashion.” (Did I ever mention how much I loved the 80’s? Besides producing me and a Mets championship in the same year, it also brought about more one hit wonders than I can name, Michael Jackson, the best teen films ever, a little Raging Bull and I also hear some sort of wall came down in Berlin. Jaja)
The ladies have to first learn their dance routine, which is inspired by the iconic 80’s TV show, Dynasty. (Omg, these bitches can work heels like no one’s business. But, I never saw an episode of Dynasty. Only 80’s show I know well is Cheers.)
While teaching them the choreography, their instructor notices that Raven is slow to pick up the routine and Tyra is monotone with her attitude. That concerns him (That has been concerning viewers all season).
After rehearsal, Juju asks if anyone ever thought they were going to be in a Rupaul video, growing up. Everyone says no, including Juju, who says she thought she was going to be a doctor. (How do you take a turn from doctor to drag queen?)
Later, each Queen gets one-on-one time with Ru, where she asks them about their experience throughout the competition.
Tyra is first and she constantly brings up her son (This felt more like he was trying to get a sympathy vote, to be honest.)
Next is Raven and she reveals a more vulnerable side, lamenting that he always ends up being the one that suffers when he enters a relationship. Ru, wisely advises, “Expectations lead to resentments.” (Mhmm, Ru is wise beyond his years)
Then it’s Juju’s turn, and she tells Ru about all the times she was made fun of, and always having to answer to “faggot.” (Ohh!! Ouch. I think that word might be more offensive then “nigger,” or perhaps as equal)
Afterward, it’s time to shoot the cat-fight sequence with Ru, directed by Mathu Andersen (A cute older gay. Shame he isn’t bi).
This scene has the girls going backstage and confronting Ru about their needs, which causes Rupaul to slap them silly - just like a daytime soap.
Raven is up first and she forgets her lines a few times (She’s getting old, what can we expect?).
Tyra is second, and she is her usual dry self until she mistakes Mathu’s advice, “when she slaps you be really hurt”, for “be really hood”, and proceeds to ask him, “Hood, like how hood?” (Jajaja, you know Brits/Aussie’s and their accent sometimes, that shit really did sound like he was saying hood.)
But Ru actually likes the concept and Tyra and Ru both start acting like hood-rats.
Juju is last, and as always, she is over-confident and even says,”I was a theatre major, honey. I know what to do” (Just like you knew how to sing? Bitch please)
Juju ends up being over the top, and Mathu simply states, “Juju is a drag clown.”
The shooting of the fighting-dance sequence is next, and it is uneventful, until the queens got really into character, and actually started fighting. Things got catty and wigs were pulled off, and at one point Juju even got her eyes hit with a heel.
They cut the fight scene short, since these Queens seemed like they wanted to kill one another.
Lastly, the Queens move on to create their 80’s look, and only Raven really knows how to dress for the decade - since she grew up in it.
Juju opines, “All I know is 80’s style is tacky, it’s huge ass shoulder pads, it’s big unruly ugly hair, really tiny waists, and fat asses” (Lmao. I would have aced this challenge, and not because I’m from Joisey and some people who don’t know any better still think we are stuck in the 80’s.)
The day for the final challenge arrives, and each girl views how well they did during the video shoot. The judges then deliberate who showed be crowned Americas Next Drag Superstar, and decide that the winner should be… Tyra Sanchez! (Ok this is anti-climatic, as everyone already knew she would win.)
Tyra wasn’t expecting the news however, and she is so overcome with emotion, she is unable to breathe, and ends up falling to the floor. (Mel pointed out to me that it was the “best reaction from a contestant on a reality TV show, EVER.” I am going to have to agree, as you could tell that she was genuinely surprised she won.)
Congrats to Tyra!
Drag Race Reunion
The reunion aired right after the show, so here is an abridgment…
Sonique admitted that she hasn’t been happy for a very long time, because she is not a man but a woman, so she has begun the process of transition. (Lord, he was fine as a man, and now she’s going to be a full-fledged woman? Women everywhere are in trouble, because this bitch is HOTTTTTT.)
Tati brought the realness hard, she even stated that people just want to label her a pretty face but she explains, “as long as I have a dick between my legs, and a wig on my head, I’m a drag queen” (Is it odd that I found that line so hot? Lol. I love this bitch)
Tati also went off on Raven and tells her that she constantly picked on her because she is jealous, insecure, and ugly on the inside. They are able to talk things out, however and they even hug it out at the end. (I was kind of hoping a bitch-slap would occur during their argument, because Raven deserves a real slap.)
We also learned that Tyra has been able to get full custody of his son, and she isn’t an annoying self-absorbed bitch anymore.
Lastly, Pandora won the Miss Congeniality Award for fan favorite (She deserved that, as she is loveable, sweet, and full of laughs)