Bourgy.com

Last year, Egotrip (who are they?) had a show called the White Rapper that was as memorable as the second time you had sex. But, I do remember a few characters on there… there was Persia, who is now pregnant (I guess she left her dildo up John Brown’s ass), $hamrock with that dumb way he spells his name; and my favorite John Brown (who once described a friend of mine as a groupie, lol)

So, this season they didn’t have much to live up to and the pattern of these shows is one where the second season is the peak; so I was hopeful for Miss Rap Supreme; but all i can say is… Epic Fail!
Let’s get to the recap.

It ain’t easy being a female rapper, a voice says, as images flash by our screens; noticeably, that clown-looking picture of Lauryn Hill. And images of Lil Kim, Foxy Brown and Remy Ma follow.
But I thought these people messed up on their own? Isn’t the premise that somehow women find it tougher to hold their own in a male dominated industry?
Oh well…

And then we are greeted by a pageant, a pageant so camp, and so tacky, it has to be deliberate.
25 women are there, and I say women, loosely; and our two hosts, YoYo and MC Serch (who was the only thing worth remembering from Season 1)
The ladies step to the microphone in turn, are asked a question or two and told to spit something.
Sort of like American Idol without the talent and Randy saying ‘dawg’ every other word.

On hearing all 25 (we only saw 12 or 13) YoYo and Serch go somewhere private and deliberate on the ten who will advance for a proper chance at being Miss Rap Supreme.
In the end they chose:

• Miss Cherry (who is a Golden Brooks look-a-like)
• Rece Steele (who’s mom was a rapper)
• Nicky2States (rapping for 1yr and has 4 kids. Imagine how many she’ll have when she gets groupies)
• Lionezz (German rapper – ‘rapper’ is actually the first time I’ve spoken Deutsch on this site)
• Chiba (who suffered a terrible car accident and is badly scarred around her left-eye)
• Bree (a cheesy white-girl and Olympic level boxer. Women box at the Olympics?)
• Byata (a hot looking Brooklyn chick, probably Brighton, who reminds me of a commenter on this site)
• Lady Twist (on the Elle Word show, she said she’d never spit a dance rap. She should add don’t eat for a year to her list of ‘nevers’)
• DAB (a sexually abused, heroin addict. But the thing is she looks good!!!)
• Khia (who for whatever reason, thinks camel-toe is haute couture)

Unfortunately Hedonis da Amazon was eliminated

So the ten ladies were crowned, sashed and taken to their quarters known as the Fembassy -this show is kitschy as hell- where they literally race in to get the best beds. There are three principal sleeping areas, The Lil Kim Quarters, The Garden of Eve and the Foxy Brown Boudoir.
They find beds and then, inexplicably, Byata says ‘I like Chiba, she’s me in a black version’; then they kiss (the first known case of inter-racial incest)

So right there and then we knew what this show was about…lesbians!
The Fembassy is packed with lesbians; and unattractive lesbians at that, which is like the worst kind of lesbian (see Janet Reno)

But it’s no surprise most of these women are gay; the real shock is Khia is in the house!

Just a few years ago she was collaborating with Janet Jackson and appearing on 106 & Park, now she’s lounging on the Miss Rap Supreme sofa saying “I was built for this, I been rapping 10 years”.
She also said she has a track record and a fan base all over the world; which kinda makes Hillary dodging shrapnel in Bosnia seem not that big of a lie.

And from her lies, we turned to a game of ‘Truth or Dare’ (at least the editing guy has a sense of humor) where the girls got really messy and began dropping their underwear and stuff.
And this is just a few hours in the house; which sorta tells you how easy lesbians are -which sorta makes sense when you realize how much more difficult it is for them to pass on diseases and get pregnant.

Somewhere in there, one of the girls, opining on the liquor being consumed says, “alcohol as they say, let you let down your prohibitions”. Which is kinda funny if she meant it, except she didn’t; which makes it kinda sad.
As the first day comes to a close DAB confesses she’s done everything except Crystal Meth (they need to put this bish’s face on a poster in the Red Cross)

The next morning all seems calm until the ladies discuss Khia and more to the point, why is she even here? Some say they thought she was a judge, initially, until they learnt otherwise.
Then Ms Cherrie began calling her a ‘one-hit wonder’, which is a kinda ironic for a nobody who’s known only for being T-Pain’s baby-mama (that’s the ultimate one hit wonder)

Of course Khia ain’t gon stomach that mess so she confronted her. Let’s catch up on the video:

So that was Khia, and that bit at the end there was her 16bars that just kept her in the house, and eliminated Lionezz.
That rap was shittier than 2 girls and 1 cup. Pumkin could spit better than that.

There was stuff between where I ended and the place where Khia just missed being sent home, but it was the usual corny fare of the ladies being split into teams captained by Nicky2States and Ms Cherrie and forced to rap at a beauty salon, a sorority house and to nuns.

Nothing to really write about; and if you’re mad I haven’t written a few paragraphs on it, then guess what?
You gotta respect me, you gotta respect me, you gotta R-E-S, RES, RESPECT me.
Lawd, that ish is so much garbage (SMH)



Thanks for reading.
Cheers.