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Another season, another Reunion Show; but this one wasn’t half-bad. I mean, for a Reunion Show without New York, it did pretty well.

Ricky Rachtman was the host, again; and it wasn’t too long before he introduced an over madeup, slightly chubby-looking Bret Michaels to the stage. Before you could say ‘awesome’ or ‘completely killer’, we were into clips of Angelique (aka Frenchie) and her penchant pour l’enlever vetements.

Angelique got into it with one of the ladies, and her gender was questioned, but Bret sorted it out, saying, “I can clear one thing up, she is not a she-male” (but what about a he-male?)

There is no doubting Destiney however, she’s all woman, and noticeably thinner.
Ricky, who actually involves himself, asked her about her reputation as a groupie. She denied it of course; they all do…until they have signed a book-deal.
But she wasn’t on stage for laughs; she said she did not regret saying she was not in love with Bret because, although being in the mansion for almost a month, she had only two hours alone-time with Bret. (my recaps take longer than that)
Bret said he does not believe she is a psycho-groupie (I guess a sane groupie would be someone like Heather)

A clip of Destiney’s father was shown and inevitably, there were tears. At least four of the ladies ran to the stage to comfort her, but I could recognize only Jessica and Ina. Bret too, cried; and perhaps a few viewers as well, as Destiney revealed her father had died just two weeks prior, as the cancer had spread to his brain. (cancer really is a fucked-up thing, so much so they should rename the horoscope sign. Who wants to be associated with that?)

From tears of the present, to tears of the past and it was Kristy Joe’s turn to hit the stage. She defended herself against Ricky’s bewilderment at her being married and on a show like Rock of Love, by saying separated women and men date all the time.
She is no longer separated, though. Having seen her lusting after and kissing Bret, her husband convinced her to give him one more chance and they have put things off for six months to give it another try. (maybe it’s me, but if I saw my wife tonguing and desiring another man, I’d want a divorce sooner rather than later)

But, come to think about it, Kristy Joe is so beautiful, she’d have to sleep with my mother, my brother, my sister and steal my Wii for me to dump that heffa.
Daisy, who’s cleverer than you think, turned her attention to Bret to ask why did he not address her (Daisy’s) relationship as he did with hers.
Bret said he did; “I laid into Kristy Joe hard” (that’s what’s up, laying it hard can solve any problem)

Unimpressed, Daisy wondered aloud if the real reason Kristy Joe bolted had something to do with avoiding the Episode with the exes (hmmmmn)
One thing Kristy Joe couldn’t avoid, was speculation about her unnatural relationship with Aubry. Clips were shown which screamed ‘lesbianness’ (if Bret wanting her added 6 months then Aubry must be good for another 3)

***forgets Peyton sang***

After that disaster, we had further proof that white-people will clap for anything, when Heather received a standing ovation as she ushered herself onto the stage.
There was more realness in Season 1, the old wrinkled up ass said, as Daisy joined her on stage. (it’s like chalk and cheese, with Heather being the chalk and her thighs being the cheese)

Suddenly, a different Daisy appeared, a Daisy that seemed authentic. She spoke of how difficult it was for her “to let her guard down and have someone reject you”
And she went further, admonishing Bret for taking advantage of her love for him and using it to shag her.

“I am not just some chick you can sleep with”, Daisy continued. And it was at that point Bret’s psycho groupie, Heather, objected.
She launched a tirade at Daisy, who dismissed her with “whateva Skeevie Nicks” (Ha! Pure Genius.)

Bizarrely, Heather claimed Daisy was copying her; to which Daisy replied, “you couldn’t pay me to look like you” (Ouch!)
It was all too much for Heather, not only was this attractive woman everything she wanted to be, but she was clowning her ass, too. So she pushed her, provoking a fight…and of coursed she delivered four or five punches to the head.
When they were finally separated, the fool told Bret, “she came at me though.” (Pathetic!)

She was ushered off the stage; never to be seen again at the Reunion Show.
Daisy walked off the stage and returned to her seat near the audience.

***Megan was also called to the stage, but her bit was never aired***

Finally, it was Ambre’s turn.
Clips were shown of her near exit and her famous no-panties scene (I never realized Bret’s hand trembled when she said it) as a giggly Ambre entered the stage.

She may have won without sleeping with Bret, but Bret confessed “I may have snuck in a little boom-boom”. Which just goes to show, you can get us without the vajayjay, but you gotta ‘put out’ to keep us.
Asked about interacting with Bret on tour and all those beautiful women around him. “It kinda turned me on”, was Ambre’s witty reply.
She and Bret admitted they were dating, and Ambre said she wants to try to make this work.
When Bret was asked for a response, he said “Absolutely”

And that was that… a decent Reunion Show, a hopeful ending and Angelique showed her ass. Couldn’t ask for more. (unless you really wanted to know, ‘who is Vanessa Mossman?’)

Thanks for reading, ‘Matic will have her Flavor of Love recap in the next few hours.