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New York Goes To Hollywood Premiere (Recap)

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New York Goes to Hollywood.jpgThe first episode of this season opens up with ‘New York’ talking about her reality show past and how the focus of trying to find a man for the last 3 years has distracted her from pursuing her lifelong dream of becoming a serious actress.

She explains that VH1 has given her 30 days to basically get a role in something or “go home” (30 days? Does VH1 realize how bad the economy is now? How can you find a job in 30 days?)     
So to get things started, New York decides to put out an ad to hire a personal assistant. The first person to be interviewed is Electra.

Electra says she leads a busy life and she is not looking to devote all of her time to the personal assistant job. New York immediately goes off and says she needs an assistant, full-time. Then she starts tormenting Electra with questions about being able to fulfill extreme demands. Electra then snaps back and calls New York “crazy” and says she needs a therapist (didn’t she have a therapist on ILNY 2?)
New York then ushers her to leave and says Electra wouldn’t be a good personal assistant for her.

The next woman to come in for an interview is Zondra.
Zondra says she would be a good personal assistant because she is a Christian and she can use her values to guide New York in a positive direction.
New York then asks Zondra what kind of positive actions would she need to take. Zondra replies that New York would need to stop cursing so much.
New York says it is her 5th Amendment right of freedom of speech that allows her to curse when she wants (Uh…freedom of speech is the 1st Amendment and damn me for having to go check that)
Zondra also exclaims that she is against pre-marital sex (You do know who you are interviewing for, right Zondra?)
New York begins to act extremely erratic upon hearing this statement and when she calms down she asks Zondra to leave.

The third person who comes in to interview is Lizza. Lizza immediately talks about her credentials for helping people become established actors and actresses. She then pulls out a portfolio of planned events she has scheduled for her clients.
Lizza impresses New York and she hires her on the spot.

New York Goes to Hollywood.jpgThe next morning New York and Lizza discuss the schedule for the day. Lizza suggests that New York should find a manager and the easiest way to find one would be to do a showcase.
Lizza explains that a showcase is a theatrical monologue where a person presents their acting talents in front of people in the hopes that someone would be interested in representing them. She hands New York a script but then tells her she has scheduled an appointment for here to see a personal trainer.

New York realizes she does not have a “Hollywood body” so she agrees to see the personal trainer.

New York and Lizza then arrive at ‘Barry’s Boot Camp’ where they meet Barry. New York tells Barry she would like to lose a few pounds but Barry comments on how her shoes are far from appropriate for working out.
He asks about her workout habits and in the ‘Confessional’ she says a typical workout for her is 45 minutes to an hour on the treadmill (::serious stare:: Really?)

After Barry puts New York on the treadmill to run, New York admits in the ‘Confessional’ that she really only spends 4-5 minutes on the treadmill (LMAO…I shouldn’t laugh because I still can’t do that)

Barry continues to make New York do push-ups and stretches until she is absolutely exhausted. Finally, New York finishes the workout and Barry tells her to be prepared for the next session.

Later that day, Lizza introduces New York to Mike who will compile and edit the reel for New York’s showcase. Lizza explains that the reel is very important with making sure people see ones best moments on video.
While Mike sets everything up, New York and Lizza talk about the script for the showcase. New York thinks the character in the script is black, while Lizza believes she’s British. New York then makes 2 attempts at trying to create a British accent but they sound like horrible Australian and Irish accents.

New York Goes to Hollywood.jpgNew York concludes that the character in the script must be black and she goes to see how Mike will set up her reel. After watching the initial reel, New York is impressed by it but Mike says he needs to take the reel home to add music and edit it some more (I’m getting the feeling that this dude is kinda shady)
Lizza questions him about when the reel will be done and he says it will be done around noon.

The next day at noon, Lizza calls Mike about the reel. Mike tells her it is almost done and she should give him another half hour. At 12:32, Lizza calls Mike again only to get his very rude voicemail. New York stops practicing to see what is taking so long with reel.
At 12:53, Mike finally calls back but he is very evasive with Lizza in saying he wants to take a shower, not wanting to give his address, and wanting to deliver the reel to the theater… New York then takes the phone away from Lizza to try to talk to Mike but he hangs up on her (You shady ass bitch. You probably gotta shower to get all the grease and crumbs off your face anyway)

New York gets angry and frustrated about not having her reel but resumes practicing.

Two hours later, New York arrives at the Acme Theater where she practices some more, but still worries about the reel.
Suddenly, 2 minutes before she is set to go on, Mike shows up with the reel and hands it to New York; further pissing her off.

Moments before New York goes on stage, she is overcomes with nerves but hopes it goes well.
First, the showcase opens with the reel and most of the managers seem to like it.

After the reel finishes, New York comes out to do her monologue and although she didn’t forget her lines, most of the managers didn’t seem impressed by the performance. After she finishes her performance, she admits that maybe she isn’t the best actress but she still hopes a manager will pick her up.
While the managers congregate in the lobby waiting for New York to come out, New York stays backstage with Lizza talking about how her performance went.
The managers grow increasingly impatient and some of them decide to leave. When New York finally comes out to meet with the managers she discovers that they have all left.

New York feels that the showcase was a flop since none of the managers stayed around and she realizes that becoming an actress is much harder than she could have imagined.
Now New York decides to go back home to prepare for another day.

60 Responses to “New York Goes To Hollywood Premiere (Recap)”

  1. steupz is still a bitch

  2. Much thanks for the recap, Enigmatic.

  3. You’re welcome.

  4. so how was her debut show steups

  5. It was alright… good enough to make me watch again.
    But barely.

  6. Fake ass,boring ass,scripted ass bitch. Thats all :D

  7. Skittlez, it was definitely scripted but, I don’t know if that’s a bad thing.

  8. LMFAO steups i guess NewYork goes to hollywood didn’t live up to your expectations i guess she better off doing i love new york you better hope this show ratings do better

  9. I don’t know if the ratings will be good.
    But hey, at least she gave it a shot at doing something else.

  10. whoa.

    im really missing something.

    anyway, i enjoyed this show. i love new york. and i dont have much else to say.

  11. This show is ok to me. I like it way better tham ILM. ILM is garbage to me and it doesn’t help that I’m not a fan of anyone on that show. This one is better to me because it’s full of irony and irony makes me think.

  12. but what else can she do beside i love new york Because it look like nobody really Feeling this New York goes to Hollywood shit look it don’t matter to me I’m not no fan of her

  13. Hey Rev…

    Pimp, maybe you hvaen’t adjusted yet to the new approach.
    Don’t look for too much drama.

  14. pimpboy are you really so illiterate?

    ugh…

    ‘matic, i agree. there is wit and edge to the script, i just hope that the box that new york is trying to break out of isnt actually reinforced by this show.

  15. Today ain’t a good day for a lot of people.
    I thpugh we’d be satisfied with all of this ‘new’ TV.. but Diddy’s show sucks.

    How many times are we gonna see the ‘Angry Black Woman’ on TV?

  16. In a way I feel like she might be leading people on to believe that she’s dumber than she is about this whole thing. While stuff like going on auditions and acting classes will definitely help her, it’s not like she’s never done these things before. She knows how to be professional on these things otherwise she wouldn’t be able to say she has experience in doing the things she has already done.

  17. well as a caricature of herself – she has to play dumb, thats the woman people want to see, but i wont go into reinforced stereotypes on Vh1.

    But I just enjoy seeing more of her and not so much everyone competeing for the spotlight -its nice to get to see her interact outside of the reality dating circuit.

  18. steups I don’t care if that New York makes it or not because I don’t watch it anyway and the only reason why I watch ‘I love New York’ is because I like the way she makes a fool out of herself week after week.

  19. illiterate LOL no revenge

  20. Laterz yall

  21. Laterz, kid.

  22. why italics steups?

  23. Cause I’ve liked Italics ever since I saw Brando on ‘The Godfather’.
    Hahahaha!

  24. ::sigh:: never a straight answer.

    where is everyone?

  25. In email.

  26. where i rather not be – my days of diggin into dirt have long since passed.

    ::sigh::

    i am an outcast, always.

    in any case, im excited for next week’s show – off to see if Vh1 has any extras posted of this episode.

  27. Doesn’t Tiffany look great with the weight gain? I hope she doesn’t drop back down to a 4 again.

  28. Never that, Rev.
    A standout, if anything.

    Keisha, I think so too. (was just about to email you)

  29. “Open your eyes!”

    I died when I heard that, ’cause we know that’s been a long-running joke on New York.
    That assistant needs her own show, too.

  30. Hey Steupz. U can email me. I will be up for a minute.

  31. I just did.

    DEAD at “How ’bout I break your leg”

  32. New York is off the chain.

  33. I thought the 4-5 minutes on the treadmill part was funny until I realized I can’t run on a treadmill for 5 minutes.

  34. 5 minutes is a long ass time.

  35. I liked it — She had her moments, but does anyone really expect this to be a serious attempt at acting. She created a persona made for TV and VH1 is going to milk all that they can get out of like they did with Flav. People only watch to see what outlandish tomfoolery she can get into and probably a bunch of teenage boys who can sit still for a half hour and drool. Although I was too distracted by her chest and her habit of having her bras on full frontal and backside display. I know those babies need all the support that they can get, but she should tailor her wardrobe to accommodate them.

    Less impressed with Diddy & Luke’s shows, but I did love Laverne. I mean how often do you see transgender women on TV?

  36. I agree laestrella.
    Diddy’s show in particular was a huge disappointment


  37. Courtesy VH1

  38. Are you trying to be funny — I’ve seen enough of those things tonight — they could almost get their own show…

  39. This is where we part company, ’cause I can’t see enough of ‘em, lol.

  40. And your pups look nice.
    And no, I am not being funny or rude with that comment. I am talking about your avatar.

  41. I’ll just leave my drooling for tomorrow night when I watch G’s to Gents and hope that none of my future ex-husband’s go home. There’s just not enough half naked men on TV for me to watch. Too bad none of the I love Money men are particularly attractive since they do walk around half naked all the time

  42. Good thing you clarified that… wouldn’t want to start rumors

  43. You know, I really like that show.
    It’s only because it’s not VH1 I haven’t really talked about it much.

    But the characters there have more depth than you’d expect. I can’t stand Kesan though, or the Miami guy he’s always beefing with.

  44. That 9:50 comment made me think of Fleetwood Mac.
    Lemme go YouTube that.

  45. Dreams – Fleetwood Mac

  46. None of them would actually qualify as G’s though… One other reason I watch is because I really want to see someone get fed up with Kesan’s mouth and attitude and just let loose on him. I know it won’t happen but I can only hope. I am a gratuitous violence junky…

    I think I’m sharing too much tonight — I should go before I say something I’m going to regret. But it’s hot and my AC needs to be overhauled and I’m going to blame it on the heat index so you can’t hold it against me

  47. Oh damn, I know how it is without an AC.
    That’s rough, lol.

    And yeah, I was disappointed with Creepa. Wtf was all o’that love for Kesan. And that other dude who chased Kesan… what’s up with him.

    But at least I learnt the word G-check, lol. I love that term.

  48. Just wait until you put it into practice.

    I’m off now — the pups have to go out and I have to pretend that I want to be a productive member of society and go to work tomorrow early

    Anyway, I know the AC at the office works as my assistant usually has it set on the meat locker setting. Which I wouldn’t mind if she actually came to work with clothes on… I just can’t seem to get my mind off of half naked people today. But I can look forward to the AC…

  49. Hahahaha.
    Bye laestrella.

  50. blah, it was lame..when is the diddy recap up…I love u Stefanie heh

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