Bourgy.com

Best Episode Ever!
Best Paymaster Outfit Ever! (not since I saw Honey Luv stretch the living daylights out of hers, have I seen a woman look that good in a black tights)
But let’s get to the recap…

‘We have control over the last 4 Eliminations’, says Pumkin, to open this week’s episode (o’rly?)
The only person with control over anything on this show is Hoopz over Real and they are sharing the same bed (wtf?)
Hoopz is engaged, but as Real clumsily strokes her back, he confesses, ‘every day when I see this woman I have butterflies in my stomach’ (how gay… why not an erection or somethin’?)

Looking on Whiteboy is concerned, ’cause love makes you do crazy things. (like kill your girlfriend? Where’s your girl? The one who couldn’t be found for ILNY)

Outside the ’secret alliance’ meets in the open and reminisces over the fools they have eliminated, until Craig interrupts everyone with his ‘challenge message’.
‘It’s gonna be a wet one’, he says, and asks them to bring their bath-suits.
The Entertainer then decides to call his mother (thinking of your mother after you hear a ‘wet one’ is just fvcking sick)
They go back and forth until it’s time to leave for the challenge… (gosh, they make it so obvious they want a show of their own. it’s pathetic)

The Pole Dance Challenge

Arriving at the beach -seems like almost every other challenge is at the beach- the contestants meet Craig and 8 ’stripper poles’.
The rules are, last one on is the ‘Paymaster’, last one off is eliminated on the spot.
Simple enough? Not to Brandi C; ’cause she is afraid of heights.

Surprisingly, VH1 may have spent some money on this challenge because the suspension is automated. Even more surprisingly, Whiteboy says something funny, ‘these women are more affiliated with a stripper-pole than I ever plan on being, in my life’ (::reluctant giggle::)

It’s time for the challenge to begin and they all mount their poles.
But within two-minutes The Entertainer cums falls (wtf? I could hang on to Hottie’s wig longer than that )
So that was that, The Entertainer is eliminated and the battle is now on to be ‘Paymaster’.

With Frank eliminated the pressure is off and soon it’s just Megan and Hoopz left.
They go on and on… 15, 20, 30 and then 40 minutes until Hoopz negotiates with Megan and askes her to quit and she’ll be safe.
On the ground Whiteboy cheers Hoopz, prompting Megan to say, ’shut up Whiteboy, let her fall, you should be cheering for me’
Eventually Megan falls and Hoopz is the Paymaster!

They leave for the mansion, but not before The Entertainer’s check is voided and Real adds insult to poverty, ‘the Entertainer went out just as I think he should… a straight loser!’ (lmfao)

The Vault

Back at the mansion Real makes it clear to Hoopz he wants Megan eliminated -we hear that every episode.
Meanwhile, Pumkin and Toasteee advise Brandi C her only hope is to sink Megan. Their efforts fail and Brandi C alerts Megan that the ‘Blonde alliance’ now has split ends.
‘They have no i-de-ya what they are doing’, Megan warns.

With two votes against each other, the key is convincing Real and Whiteboy to support one half of the ‘alliance’. Megan makes an attempt to convince them Toasteee wanted to eliminate Whiteboy; but fails, epically.

In the vault, Real volunteers his check ’cause he wants a date with Hoopz then conducts the eliminations as he always does (I never got that)
Brandi’s check is voted in and joined by Megan’s; much to her surprise.
‘You’re voting for me?’, she asks Real. (didn’t you see his hand shoot up? Lmao)

When Hoopz learns Real’s check is there ’cause he wanted a date, she ‘busts out’ that beautiful smile of hers.

Power Outing

‘Dress Western’, is Craig’s command for the power outing as the contestants brood over the decisions in the Vault.
Brandi C, still upset by her alliance’s shenanigans throws a slick remark at Pumkin, ‘gosh, what a surprise to see you guys eating again’. (lmao)
An upset Pumkin replies, ‘does she not know who I am?’ (oh hell naw, lol. Who are you!?)

Pumkin then chases after Brandi C and yells at her…‘go drink your beer, get your lipo, and be a slut for the rest of your life’ (::serious stare:: lmmfao, lmmfao)

Outside, filming a comment, Megan hears the commotion and chases into the mansion (Captain save-a-ho?)
***seriously though, that was too weird. Are they sleeping together or somethin’?***

The drama ‘ascends’ to a food-fight with Whiteboy giving commentary on the phone and Pumkin’s stomach looking ridiculous. (only white people can have a food-fight and never throw fists…SMH)
Later, Real calls Craig to ask for a ‘favor, bruh’.

The four contestants ride horses on the beach -surprisingly Real did not mention for the umpteenth time that he breeds stallions- before eating.
Brandi C admits she’s ok with going home if Toasteee and Pumkin are next. The two ladies then reveal their secret alliance to Hoopz who laments, ‘the wrong people are in the box’ (uh? aren’t the two in front of you part of the secret alliance too?)

Brandi C and Megan then leave Real to have alone-time with Hoopz.
Suddenly Real puts on that fake voice he uses when he’s about to do/say something stupid and says, ‘I want to show you how much I love ya’.
Hoopz fakes shock and awe.

Real then proposes to Hoopz after producing one big-ass solitaire diamond ring. (Da fuck? That’s the favour? Bruh…)
Hoopz’ answer is ‘OMG, why did you pick me?’ (DIES!!! That’s the second midget she’s fooled, now)

‘This is probably the weirdest proposal in America’, Hoopz adds; forgetting she’s in Mexico.
Awkwardness ensues before Real asks her to wear it for the day and decide later; which is what guys say to delay the shame and embarrassment of being turned down.

Elimination Ceremony

At home, Hoopz and Whiteboy discuss Real’s proposal and do not take it seriously; whilst Brandi C cries on her bed as she is consoled by Megan. One of them is leaving tonight!

At the ‘Ceremony’ Hoopz looks devastatingly beautiful; but Brandi C quickly interrupts the event, ‘before you start, I wanna say something’.
Real tries to stop her -which suggests Megan was being ousted- but she asks Craig to void her check.
Craig reiterates her request to be certain, then voids her check.
Hoopz laughs, much as she did when Pumkin spat on New York, and seems relieved she did not have to go back on her word to save Megan.

But, it’s not over just yet. Shockingly, Craig blurts, the Paymaster must make a decison and the choice must come from three candidates. He then orders the remaining contestants, save for Hoopz, to return to the vault and add one more name to the box.
Gleefully, Megan says what we all think… Brandi C’s decision just screwed Pumkin or Toasteee.

[pictures]