Enigmatic’s Real Chance of Love Premiere Recap
The series premiere of Real Chance of Love opens with the voiceover reminding us Real and Chance failed to find love on I Love New York, and how they failed to win money on I Love Money. The voiceover continues and states it is their turn to find love and 17 girls are waiting outside for them to arrive (Why do the male hosts drive up to the house while the female hosts come out of the house?).
When they get to the house, all of the girls cheer for them while Real tells the girls, he and his brother are looking for “2 good, real women.” He then tell the girls to go inside and find a bed. The girls rush inside the house like a wild stampede trying to find a bed. Two girls find a bed and begin jumping on it and after a couple minutes, the bed breaks. Another comes in to chide them on breaking the bed and a large argument ensues. While many of the girls argue, another girl primps and talks to herself in the bathroom (Ok…..she’s kinda crazy).
Later on, the girls get together in the great hall to drink and dance (Worst dancing ever. They can’t even dance off beat together).
When Chance and Real re-appear, many of the girls flock to Chance for hugs from him.
Chance hugs some of them while Real instructs the girls to begin lining up to get their nicknames.
He explains to the girls that he and his brother are not really named “Real” and “Chance” and to carry on the tradition of the “Of Love” shows, all of the girls must receive nicknames. One girl is surprised to learn that the guys are not really named Chance and Real (WTF? How do you figure that those are their real names?).
The Nickname Ceremony
One by one, the girls are called up to introduce themselves and receive a nickname
1) Bay Bay Bay – Named because she is from Oakland
2) Harmony – Named for her lack of singing skills
3) Meatball – Named because she was born in Italy
4) Isha – Abbreviation for Willesha
5) Ki Ki – Abbreviation for Lakia
6) Risky – Named for having many tattoos
7) Sexy Legs – Named for her height and her real nickname “Sexy Lexi”
8 ) Bubbles – Named because Chance said her voice sounds like a “space cadet”
9) Milf – Named because she is 35 with a 9 year old son (She looks like an older version of Ambre and we all know she lied about her age at first)
10) Corn Fed – Named because she is from Fargo, North Dakota and she has absolutely no ass at all
11) Promo – Named because she is a promoter
12) K.O. – Named because she is a boxer
13) Cali – Named because she is from California
14) Rabbit – Named because she has a body like Jessica Rabbit
15) Stalker – Named because Chance hated her clock and thinks she may be crazy
16) Lusty – Named because they couldn’t stop looking at her boobs
17) So Hood – Named because she said she wanted to do things to both of them
After naming all of the girls, the guys go outside to have a mixer and get to know the girls better. Outside, Corn Fed tries to make small talk with Ki Ki but Ki Ki snaps at her and says she isn’t there to make friends. Corn Fed then walks off but Ki Ki goes up to yell at Corn Fed some more because she thought that Corn Fed said something about her (WTF? Go sit down somewhere and try to grow a neck you crazy ass, scary, porcelain doll looking bitch)
The meet and greet
Meanwhile, Stalker angrily looks at Chance because he broke the clock she gave him. Chance tells her that he is not Flavor Flav… in the ‘Confessional’, he complains that she told him, “It’s the thought that counts” and he retorts that was “a low budget thought.”
Elsewhere, Promo and Real talk and Real asks her how her parents would feel if she brought a black man home to her parents. Promo answers that she doesn’t know how her parents would react and that disturbs Real a little bit.
Both brothers speak to a couple other girls, but, as Chance is being massaged by Milf; Stalker looms nearby.
In another area, Bay Bay Bay and K.O. both kiss Real on his cheeks but when K.O. begins making out with Real, Bay Bay Bay pulls back and looks on in disgust saying that K.O. has a lot of little bumps on her chin (Who the fuck makes out with someone on the first night you meet them? That’s nasty)
The makeout-session ends and Real proclaims he needs a faithful woman because his last girlfriend cheated on him (You make out with someone you just met and you say you don’t want an unfaithful woman….Dude if this and stalking is how you get women then you got a problem)
Now Chance and Bubbles are talking. Chance tries to say that he needs a woman who will listen to him but Bubbles rambles on about animals and listening and other crap that makes no sense at all. Stalker looks on and in the ‘Confessional’, Chance calls her a “Yeti.”
Later on, Real and Lusty have some kind of deep, sensual conversation but the camera immediately cuts to her saying the exact same thing to Chance. She then goes on to whisper extremely explicit (so explicit that we didn’t get subtitles or a word here and there to help us along) words, in Chance’s ear.
They are interrupted however, by a loud argument between So Hood and Bubbles. So Hood attacks Bubbles for sounding dumb and not making any sense. Chance looks on and warns that an argument like that could get So Hood sent home.
Later, Chance and Harmony make out but afterwards, Chance drops some not so subtle hints that Harmony’s breath smells bad (WTF? You make out with someone and your breath stank? SMH)
So Hood then cuts in and soon after begins dry humping on Chance, extremely hard (Epic SMH)
The camera quickly cuts to Real and Corn Fed talking before returning to Chance, now talking to Cali. Cali tries to feed Chance some strawberries but he has a fit and complains about the strawberries being soft and not fresh. She calms him down by giving him a massage.
Milf too, is giving Real a massage and asks him if he would be interested in an older woman. Real replies that he doesn’t know and once again, a quick edit flashes to Milf rubbing and hugging Chance while Stalker hovers nearby (These girls are hoes. This isn’t amusing anymore. It’s sickening)
Next, Real and Ki Ki talk. Ki Ki tells Real she is there for him and she is “real and genuine.” She goes on to tell Real that K.O. gave Chance a lap dance after saying she wanted to be with Real (If you have to tell someone you are ‘real’ then you must be fake)
Eliminations
Chance and Real then gathers all the girls to tell them to get ready for ‘Elimination’.
They announce 3 girls will be eliminated.
In the ‘Confessional’ they explain they will both pick 7 girls and that the Chance girls will get the “C” chain while the Real girls get the “R” chain. Also, they decided that Real would get to pick the first girl and neither can protest if one brother picks a girl the other one wanted.
At eliminations, many of the girls are hoping they made a good enough impression to stay. Real’s first 2 picks are Bay Bay Bay and Sexy Legs while Chance picks Cali and Rabbit. Real calls up K.O. and he asks her if she gave Chance a lap dance. In the ‘Confessional’, she says she felt pressured to do it and clips of a brunette giving Chance a lap dance are shown. K.O. then tells Real she didn’t give him a lap dance and Real gives her a chain.
Chance picks Risky and Bubbles while Real picks Corn Fed and Milf -to the chagrin of Ki Ki and Bay Bay Bay-
Chance picks Meatball while Real picks Ki Ki. Chance then picks Promo but she stands there.
In the ‘Confessional’, she admits she wanted Real to pick her. She tells Chance she’s interested in Real and thinks Chance is a player but she accepts his chain anyway.
Real’s final pick is Lusty while Chance chooses So Hood to receive the final chain.
After the last chain is given out, the three eliminated girls, Stalker, Isha and Harmony, are asked to say their goodbyes, and Isha begins to cry.
Real explains that Isha pretty much became forgotten while Stalker and Harmony were obviously only there to get to know Chance.
In her exit interview, Stalker says she will keep stalking Chance through Myspace (They need to make sure she doesn’t lurk around the mansion for the rest of this season.)
damn i forgot to watch the show so how was the first Episode steups
I don’t know. To me it’s the same old thing with a different dress.
I do want to know what brought on the bottle over the head by Real. Will look at it for a few more times though.
Poor Isha. I would much rather have her “what the fuck is going on” face around than Ki Ki’s or So Hood’s.
Any body else loving Meatball’s accent?
The RCOL girls just seem fake to me except my three bitches, Stalker, Bay Bay Bay and KI KI.
Whats odd is i’m an URBER horror fan but SCREAM QUEENS doesn’t interest me. I guess I just love the FOL/ROL/ILNY family.
Notables
Ki Ki-This bitch needs a different weave, a neck, and to not annoy me when she speaks because that ghetto, gangsta talk is horrible. She probably needs some anger mamagement classes and some bipolar medicine too.
Milf-Well we see how she ended up with a kid because I don’t think any guy would want to touch her if she didn’t act so trampy.
Lusty-I’m confused on this one. She talks to herself and she tries to sound philosophical yet she turns around and looks and acts like she’s been hoeing since way before Sodom and Gomhorra got burned down. She also looks way older than my mom.
So Hood-Everything about this bitch says ghetto hoe. We all know from these shows that if it looks like a hoe, talks like a hoe and dresses like a hoe then it’s a hoe.
Stalker-OMG. Has she not heard of personal space? Seriously, that damn clock was garbage and she got mad about that for no reason? Chance was somewhat nice to her because she woulda got cussed out for all that damn stalking and snapping she was doing.
Bubbles-She is like a Hispanic Brandi C on crack. She makes absolutely no damn sense when she talks.
K.O.-She must be on that Rodeo and Hoopz testosterone diet because she sounds like a damn man when she talks and she has a one track mind. Damn near everything she says is “But I can kick people’s asses.”
These girls sicken me. They act like they haven’t had sex in over a year or something.
Stalker should have given Chance something more nice that would have atleast kept her around a bit longer like how Hotlanta brought flav that gold plack. I mean why did Stalker give hi that cheap ass clock? But I love her.
also MILF tries to act like she a cougar when i reality chance and real are just a few years younger than her, soo…I don’t see why they act like she’s a “mom” when their close to thirty themselves.
enigmatic your recaps be on point and funny as hell
My Favorites in order:
- So Hood
- Bay Bay Bay
- Cali
- Rabbit
- Promo
- Bubbles
- Corn Fed
- Milf
- Meatball
- Risky
My Least Favorites in order:
- Ki Ki
- Isha
- Lusty
- Stalker
Don’t Know, Don’t Care
- Sexy Legs
- K.O.
- Harmony
I agree with Khicago, Chance should have kept Stalker around a little bit longer. The way she kept starring at him would have made for a different type of scary drama or laughs. I think it would have been interesting to see how Chance would deal with her.
@ Enigmatic Anon,
“These girls sicken me”…..I am still laughing at that line.
I can see you as the head mistress of ROL:Charm School Girls. They would all quit long before the show was over.
Off topic: The Entertainer posted this blog (I don’t watch the real world, but it’ll be cool if the entertainer’s bro is as funny as him:
From: Frank The Entertainer From I Love Money
Date: Oct 20, 2008 6:40 PM
Subject: Oh!
Body: Hey everyone! Its time for that daily reminder!! My brother Sal is casting for the Real World and all he needs is your vote to get on! Please vote for my brother by clicking on this link
http://realworldcasting. mtv. com/people/gimmeyasandwich
Then click vote (on the left side of the page)
And thats it! Registering is not necessary…JUST CLICK VOTE!
My brother and I really appreciate the support thank you to all who have and who are voting!
THANKS A LOT GUYS & PLEASE VOTE AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN.
IT ALLOWS YOU TO VOTE ONCE EVERY 24 HOURS!
Ki KI was getting on my last damn nerves…………how many times have you heard that “I’m not here to make friends” line…………and bitch just because u dont want friends doesnt mean u have to b and act like a total bitch………….I wish Sinceer was here to show u what a true bitch is because ur acting is horrible!!!!!!!!!
Think NY will make an apperance in the “cameo/comeback” episode or will it be Hoopz
i REALLY WANNA SEE THE EPiSODE WHERE REAL CRACKZ DA DUDE iN DA HEAD WiDD DA GLASS !
i hope New York cuz Hoopz doesnt even know dem really………plus
New York is waaaay more entertaining
What about Hoopz and Real’s connection from ILM, CSO?
Im surprised people are still interested in these types of shows esp one staring thoses fake ass niggas.
Dorfam, these shows are fake and probably written. My guess is Chance fake personality is enough to pull him through the garbage ass shows that are VH1. But for Real’s boring ass crossing dressing self, they needed something more interest. Que in that fake ass relationship.
Now, VH1 has ran out of ideas. Well, actually they ran bout five seasons ago and are rehashing this shit to hopefully still capitalize on an audience dumb enough to still pay attention to their fake love connection shows.
Or maybe they(Vh1) do it so that overbearing, self indulgent, egotistical people, who take themselves too seriously can continue to criticize, those people that can take shows like this for the entertainment value that they are produced for. IDK just taking a stab.
About Hoopz and NY, if it is true that they make an appearance then speculation could be that they show up no later than the final four and then at least one gets dissed by either brother.
In such a scenario, it would seem plausible that Chance disses NY in the final two for payback which would then be the impetus to launch the next season of ILNY. Who would care about a Hoopz storyline is beyond me.
Promo and Bubbles all the way! Love them!
$I LOVE ME SOME RISKY AND SO HOOD DEM THE KYND OF GURLS IM WITH!!!! LUV EM IF CHANCE LET U GO BRING IT RITE HURR!! L0L$
Does anyone know if Bubbles has a myspace.
$N BUBBLES IS CUTE JUSS DUMB AS FUCK!!$
I don’t have a favorite.
There are no girls on this show who remind me of Toastee, lol.
W/e, it’s still going to be fun to watch.
These girls are insane!