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Episode 5 begins with Lacey and Brandi C. feeling depressed about Megan’s elimination but Brandi C now feels she needs to win to vindicate Megan.
Meanwhile, Brandi M. is happy about staying and vows not to mess up again (I take it this means she’s gonna fail epically today).
The girls then receive the note telling them they will learn how to become ’social chameleons.’

When the girls assemble in the Great Hall, they are greeted by Daniella, who reveals their next commandment will be, “Thou shalt not rock rude.”
She goes on to explain that the girls will receive a lesson in etiquette and introduces her guest, Lisa. Lisa lectures on basic presentation skills and makes them practice how to walk, sit and eat soup.

After the lesson, Daniella tells the girls they will have a dinner guest, the Duchess of Birminghamshire. She appoints 3 team captains; Dallas, Kristy Joe and Inna and informs them that they must pick 2 other girls for their team. Inna doesn’t want Brandi C. and Lacey on her team, but is stuck with them after Kristy Joe picks Jessica/Brandi M. and Dallas chooses Destiney and Heather.

The Duchess Challenge

Later, Daniella introduces Michael Green, the Duchess’ Chief of Staff. He gives the girls a long list of protocols that the girls must follow including not serving the Duchess any alcohol and addressing her by her full name (They confused me so I won’t even attempt to type the whole name here).
The rules frustrate all of the girls and more so as they practice saying the Duchess’s full name and trying to bow properly, but Brandi C complains about not being able to entertain anyone who isn’t a male between the ages of 18 and 30 (Brandi C. Sweetie. How many times do you have to keep reminding everyone that you’re a slut?)

Sharon announces only the most charming girls will be safe from elimination and she will watch them from her office. Sharon admits she has no hope for the girls to do well (WTF?)

Michael returns and introduces the Duchess but the girls struggle with her name as they greet her. The Duchess then leaves the room but Michael returns to address Inna’s exposed shoulders and chest. Inna is embarrassed and goes to cover up hoping her mistake doesn’t mess up her team’s chances.

In her office, Sharon wonders why Inna didn’t cover up, noting all the other girls have on shawls, jackets or turtlenecks.
The Duchess comes back and Inna offers a drink to which the Duchess accepts and requests a glass of wine. Inna declines her request and the Duchess snaps at Inna for not getting wine and chides Brandi C about her pink hair (If not having alcohol makes you ornery then your ass is an alcoholic).

Next comes Kristy Joe’s group to offer the Duchess dinner. The Duchess asks for wine again, but Brandi M. says no alcohol is available. Jessica tries to start a conversation but an awkward pause ensues.
Finally dinner is served and the girls struggle to keep pace with the Duchess. Brandi M tries to address the Duchess but she butchers her name numerous times. The Duchess then requests that Brandi M and Jessica switch seats. Upon switching, Jessica tells an extremely lame joke and is asked to switch with Kristy Joe.
Soon after, Dallas’ group enters to offer dessert.

Sharon laughs at the girls and reveals in her ‘Confessional’ that the Duchess is not really a Duchess at all but merely an actress (LMAO). Downstairs, Heather tries to serve tea to the Duchess but she spills it.
Dallas tries to spark conversation by sucking up to the Duchess.

The Duchess then makes a comment about liking “spotted dick” which bewilders the girls (Are these girls that horny to automatically think spotted dick is associated with a man? If so, they need to be checked because doesn’t having a spotted dick equates to having an STD?)
Sharon reveals that “spotted dick” is actually a popular British custard. After dessert, the Duchess walks around and the girls try their hardest not to turn their backs to her, as per one of the rules.
Later, all the girls assemble to say goodbye to the Duchess.

Sharon then comes in and criticizes Brandi M about messing up the Duchess’ name and Jessica about letting her nerves get in the way. She also berates Inna for her wardrobe and says her mistake cost her team the win and therefore declares Dallas’s team the winner of the challenge.

The next morning the girls get a note instructing the 2 losing teams to select a girl who should be called to the carpet and that they must justify their decision. Destiney asks Brandi C and Lacey why they didn’t tell Inna to cover up and they have an argument. To stop the argument, Inna volunteers to put herself up for elimination.

Elsewhere, Kristy Joe tries to volunteer herself to go on the carpet, but Brandi M steps up and volunteers herself. Moments later, Brandi M. changes her mind and goes to tell Kristy Joe and Jessica that she doesn’t want to go on the carpet (Brandi M should never be in charge of anything because she would flip-flop every 2 minutes.)
Brandi M and Jessica debate on who should go on the carpet between the 2 of them. Brandi M. then influences Kristy Joe to get Jessica on the carpet and they eventually succeed in getting Jessica to agree with them (They bogus as hell. WTF?)

Eliminations

At elimination, Inna is nervous about getting eliminated while Jessica believes that sacrificing herself will show the judges she has a backbone.
Sharon asks Inna who her team has decided to put up for elimination and Inna sends herself to the carpet. Sharon then asks Kristy Joe what her team’s decision was and she tries to send herself to the carpet but Jessica cuts in and says they decided she (Jessica) would go to the carpet.
Kristy Joe objects, however Sharon asks Brandi M who they decided on, and she answers ‘Jessica’.

Sharon asks Inna why her team decided on her and Inna replies it was her mistake that caused her team to lose. Sharon asks Kristy Joe why they decided on Jessica and she says they put Jessica on the carpet because Brandi M. already has 2 strikes against her.
Jessica says she is there because she wants to show the judges she has a backbone.
Sharon then calls Brandi M. to the carpet.

Riki wonders why Inna didn’t cover up when she saw everyone else did and goes on to say that Jessica got talked into coming on the carpet.
Daniella gets on Inna dressing inappropriately and says Jessica needs more confidence.

Sharon lets Brandi M speak and she says she wants to be there and continue to learn. Sharon agrees and asks her to go back and join the other girls. Inna and Jessica are now more nervous than ever about going home. Jessica starts crying and Sharon asks her to speak. She says she is working hard and saying she is trying to step up and become strong.
Sharon prompts Inna to speak and she says she deserves to stay and she is trying hard to be there.

Sharon addresses Jessica by saying she let her team bully her and says she has a long way to go to get stronger. Sharon scolds Inna once again on her dress and says she isn’t keeping up with everyone else. Sharon then expels Inna and asks for her pin.

Upon leaving, Inna says she felt she couldn’t be herself in Charm School and says she has great respect for Sharon. As she dismisses the girls, Sharon informs the girls that the Duchess was actually an actress and the girls realize they were tricked.