Bourgy.com

17 new cast members and 2 former contestants sail on the shores of Huatulco, Mexico expressing what they are known for (mostly making asses of themselves) and what they intend to do to win the $250,000 prize.
As they reach their destination, flashbacks and previews of the cast are shown accompanied with Craig J. Jackson’s voice-over on how all these fools failed at love and how all but one person will fail at trying to win the grand prize.

Like last season, everyone is forced to jump off the boats with all their crap and then hike up the long winding stairway to the -hopefully thoroughly disinfected- mansion where Craig awaits them.

Dumbest Alliance Ever

He immediately points out Heat and the Entertainer and asks if there’s any lingering animosity between them. In the ‘Confessional’, Heat incoherently babbles through reminding us how the Entertainer stole Destiney from him and then eliminated him.
Back outside, Entertainer claims that his team decided that Heat should leave (Uh you picked the ‘Bottom 3′ yourself when they wanted you to pick the Stallionaires, and even after you fucked THAT up you flipped and eliminated Heat when you said you would eliminate Megan so GTFO with that bullshit)

With that settled, Craig explains the general scheme of the show (which we don’t truly need to go over again) and then allows everyone to stampede through the house like wildebeests to find their beds, while It, aimlessly wanders around without finding a bed.

The Entertainer immediately begins to plot with Heat and 20 Pack about getting Buddha eliminated. They all agree that Buddha poses the biggest threat to them and the Entertainer goes out on his quest to convince everyone not to pick Buddha to be on their team if they become a Team Captain (SMH it hasn’t been 20 minutes and he’s already at his fail antics.)

As Buddha becomes aware of the Entertainer’s plan he tells Saaphyri about how much of a loser the Entertainer is. In the ‘Confessional’, Buddha describes the Entertainer as a “perpetual failure.”

Outside, Angelique, Tamara and Leilene chat by the pool and all save for Tamara remove their tops, shocking Bonez and Onyx who look on from the balcony (SMH… the two strippers would be the ones to get naked first).

Later, Buckwild and Saaphyri discuss trying to get on separate teams so they can save each other from getting eliminated. Leilene walks in and the conversation quickly turns to her nudity and her not learning anything from Charm School (Obviously the two of y’all didn’t learn anything since y’all are either currently in jail or dealing with past legal problems).

¿¿¿Tamara???

After the scheming, the cast is reunited to cut their checks and tell everyone what they want to do with the money.

** Since all these folks either didn’t answer the question or gave bullshit answers, I’m only going to choose the dumbest ones and comment on those.**

Buckwild- repay mother for paying her legal bills (Birds of a feather flock together. ::coughs:: Saaphyri ::coughs::)

T-Weed- Open a “federal hood credit union” (This might be the only time I agree with Buddha… who the hell would pay-back your broke, dusty ass? Seriously?)

Onyx- Says doing the show may have (we now know it has) cost him his job (Dude, haven’t you been paying attention to the news? No dumb-ass reality show is worth losing a job over in this economy)

Cali- Help her family and pay-off her boobs (She needs to get a refund because that doctor fucked her up)

Prancer- wants to get boobs (Have you seen all the boob jobs these hoes have? They are terrible! That money would be put to better use by buying dark brown or black, hair-dye)

Tamara- wants to buy a houseboat (Shouldn’t you be buying brains?)

After the ceremony, Craig tells everyone to change into their bathing suits in preparation for the first challenge. Tamara starts feeling nervous and makes strange faces as she tries to communicate her feelings to the other people in the room.
In the ‘Confessional’ Angelique calls her a “total idiot” (Now if someone who still has not fully mastered the English language calls someone ‘dumb’, then that person has serious problems).

Frustrated, Tamara goes to Bonez and 20 Pack who encourage her to not leave the show.

Myammee’s Weave

The cast reassembles outside where they encounter a pool of stinky mud. Craig informs that each of them will have one minute to get into the pool to collect as many coins they can and place them in a barrel outside of the mud pit. The two to collect the most coins will be Team Captains, and will pick their teams and be safe from elimination.

Leilene is first but she fails to collect any coins. ‘It’ comments that Leilene didn’t collect any coins because she’s more concerned about having sex with the other guys and that she would have fared better if she were collecting dildos and condoms (Why the hell is this the most profound thing he’s ever said?)

Myammee collects 10 coins but Heat, Milf, The Entertainer and Buckwild jump out in front by collecting 18, 18, 19 and 18 coins respectively.

20 Pack and Prancer are next and they take first and second place by collecting 26 and 20 coins.
It, Saaphyri, Tailor Made, Bonez, Cali, Onyx, Ice, Angelique and Tamara fail to collect enough coins to get either first or second place. While collecting her coins, Tamara admits she can’t swim and rethinks wanting to buy a houseboat (my goodness, this bitch is so dumb).

T-Weed is up and collects 22 coins taking second place from Prancer. Finally it’s Buddha and if he fails to collect at least 22 coins then 20 Pack and T-Weed will be Team Captains.
Buddha retrieves 20 coins and 20 Pack & T-Weed are declared Team Captains (Either those coins are rubber or the editing is still shitty because it looked like he had more than 20 coins).

After the challenge, everyone goes to clean up and some people use this as an opportunity to butter up the Team Captains. Leilene talks to 20 Pack about keeping her but he tells her that all his decisions will be left up to the Entertainer (WTF? Damn, so your centipede-looking ass really does lack a spine)

Believing the Entertainer to be an idiot, Leilene goes to talk to T-Weed but walks away from the conversation feeling that he’s all talk (Uh you must not have watched ILNY because he IS all talk)

Meanwhile, the Entertainer gloats that his plan is working perfectly because 20 Pack and T-Weed said they would not pick Buddha. In another room Tamara goes to talk to T-Weed about wanting to stay because she does not feel that 20 Pack may want to keep her, although he said he would.

Their conversation ends with T-Weed assuring her that she will always be on his side (See I couldn’t really translate this bullshit because I don’t comprehend wack-speak or dumb bitchenese)

Later, 20 Pack and the Entertainer strategize some more until Heat comes in and says T-Weed is talking to Buddha. The Entertainer storms into the same room where Buddha and T-Weed are talking and glares at them while they continue their conversation (LOL. Like your idiot ass can really stop them from talking by staring at them)

Eliminations

At eliminations Buddha hopes that someone isn’t stupid enough to actually send him home (I have a feeling someone will be stupid enough to let him stay).
Craig calls up 20 Pack first to give him his check and take his place as the Gold Team captain. T-Weed too, takes his place as the Green Team captain.

20 Pack uses his first pick to choose the Entertainer while T-Weed opts for Onyx.
20 Pack -under the direction of the Entertainer- chooses Heat as his next pick while T-Weed selects Bonez. After consulting with the Entertainer again (WTF?) 20 Pack chooses Prancer and Angelique as their next picks.

T-Weed picks Myammee, who wants to one-up Megan’s bikinis by wearing (trashy, ugly ass, 2 sizes too small) lingerie, and Buckwild to be on his team.

20 Pack (who has officially relinquished what small amount of dick and balls he owns to the Entertainer) chooses Saaphyri and Cali to be on his team.

T-Weed (Who obviously wants a team full of black people, fake black people and people who just like black dick) picks Milf, and surprisingly Buddha, (‘Matic, Buddha is in all three categories. The cunt…) to be on his team.

The Entertainer is outraged that T-Weed went back on his word but Buddha tells the Entertainer and 20 Pack that they need to be ready for competition. 20 Pack picks Tailor Made and It to finish his team while T-Weed picks Ice.

Tamara and Leilene remain as the ‘Final 2′ and Tamara starts to spaz out while she tries, and fails, to explain why she wants to stay. T-Weed wants Leilene and Tamara to arm wrestle for the final spot (dude seriously? The push-ups from last season were so much better).

Tamara refuses to, and starts freaking out more, but eventually relents and goes to arm-wrestle Leilene. They begin a strong arm-wrestling session but Tamara gets weak at the end and loses, so Leilene wins the last spot.

Upset about losing, Tamara goes off and calls everyone all kinds of losers, idiots, and cold, heartless people who manipulated her and embarrassed her (Sweetie you made yourself look more foolish than anyone ever could)

She continues on her rant by saying she’s a winner and she has been in 50 magazines (For real? How the hell could a photographer give your loopy ass clear directions to get a good shot?)
She then storms off into the house where she once again gets stuck in a closet (LMAO).

After the cast laughs at Tamara’s epic fail of a grand exit, Craig informs the remaining contestants to put their checks in the box and rest up, so they can compete for their first team challenge in the morning.

[pics]